[2025-CC-490674-F] Cletus T. Grubwater v. Blaine Country Sheriffs Office
Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2025 11:24 am
Complaint Type: Felony
Plea: Not Guilty
Suspect Name: Cletus T. Grubwater
Department: Blaine Country Sheriffs Office
Arresting Officer: Seth Roxton
Charges:
First Degree Murder
Desecration of Decorative Lawn Ornaments
Public Nudity (Post-murder victory dance)
Bail Issued: No
Facts:
On the evening of the 17th, Mr. Grubwater was found elbow-deep in a wheelbarrow full of baked beans behind the Paleto Bay bar. Witnesses report he screamed, "Justice for gnomes!" before hurling a lawn ornament through Mr. Bill Hargreeves' window. Moments later, Hargreeves stormed out, slipped on said gnome, and fell onto a suspiciously placed pitchfork. Grubwater claimed this was "self-defense via divine landscaping."
Evidence:
Bloodied gnome with suspiciously smug expression
Half-eaten can of beans (still warm)
Grubwater’s “Murder Confession Haiku,” found pinned to the barn door
Three eyewitnesses and one confused goat
Witnesses:
Mabel Figs (local gossip champion)
Thomas “Two-Toes” Barker
Jasper the Goat (limited verbal testimony)
Plea: Not Guilty
Suspect Name: Cletus T. Grubwater
Department: Blaine Country Sheriffs Office
Arresting Officer: Seth Roxton
Charges:
First Degree Murder
Desecration of Decorative Lawn Ornaments
Public Nudity (Post-murder victory dance)
Bail Issued: No
Facts:
On the evening of the 17th, Mr. Grubwater was found elbow-deep in a wheelbarrow full of baked beans behind the Paleto Bay bar. Witnesses report he screamed, "Justice for gnomes!" before hurling a lawn ornament through Mr. Bill Hargreeves' window. Moments later, Hargreeves stormed out, slipped on said gnome, and fell onto a suspiciously placed pitchfork. Grubwater claimed this was "self-defense via divine landscaping."
Evidence:
Bloodied gnome with suspiciously smug expression
Half-eaten can of beans (still warm)
Grubwater’s “Murder Confession Haiku,” found pinned to the barn door
Three eyewitnesses and one confused goat
Witnesses:
Mabel Figs (local gossip champion)
Thomas “Two-Toes” Barker
Jasper the Goat (limited verbal testimony)