[2025-CC-490674-F] Cletus T. Grubwater v. Blaine Country Sheriffs Office

[Dean Cooper]

Complaint Type: Felony

Plea: Not Guilty

Suspect Name: Cletus T. Grubwater

Department: Blaine Country Sheriffs Office

Arresting Officer: Seth Roxton

Charges:
First Degree Murder
Desecration of Decorative Lawn Ornaments
Public Nudity (Post-murder victory dance)

Bail Issued: No

Facts:
On the evening of the 17th, Mr. Grubwater was found elbow-deep in a wheelbarrow full of baked beans behind the Paleto Bay bar. Witnesses report he screamed, "Justice for gnomes!" before hurling a lawn ornament through Mr. Bill Hargreeves' window. Moments later, Hargreeves stormed out, slipped on said gnome, and fell onto a suspiciously placed pitchfork. Grubwater claimed this was "self-defense via divine landscaping."

Evidence:
Bloodied gnome with suspiciously smug expression
Half-eaten can of beans (still warm)
Grubwater’s “Murder Confession Haiku,” found pinned to the barn door
Three eyewitnesses and one confused goat

Witnesses:
Mabel Figs (local gossip champion)
Thomas “Two-Toes” Barker
Jasper the Goat (limited verbal testimony)

[Tommy Hamner]

Test

[Blake Beamer]

Test

Solis fired btw

[Larry Roth]

icle

I love haggis

Why can I edit this?